He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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