You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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