apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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