She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
