dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am spending my child support on dildos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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