hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
