Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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