u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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