i barfeds in our rink
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
