pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
