So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
BRING THE BAGELS
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
