I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
