Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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