My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
