Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
