A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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