we're making bets on your personal life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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