she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
