Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize