Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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