You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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