i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
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There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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