what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize