That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
