I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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