I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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