new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
