You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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