theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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