Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
