I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You don't make any sense
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