Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize