Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
