Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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