i jhust puked up my retainher.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
