The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
