The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
