Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
