she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm having to shit out rocks
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