Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
