This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
