When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
