Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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