just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
