Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
