I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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