I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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