ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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