I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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