just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
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He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
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Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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