Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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