If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
