no one should ever give us hovercrafts
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
