Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
