Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
